i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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