You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
