break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
