How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
