If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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