She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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