so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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