Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
two words...techno handjob
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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