Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
