I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
