This is not my ceiling
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
