And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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