I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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