Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
