I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
