I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
