Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
