It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
