I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
