D3 body, D1 cock
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
