All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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