I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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