I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
