He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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