how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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