i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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