thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
