The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
