You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
