So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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