you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We are two peas in an std pod
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
