I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
