You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
