you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
