In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
