so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
