I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize