sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
