God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
