Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
