please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
