dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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