It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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