Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We need to rekindle our bromance
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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