I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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