Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
