you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
