so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
