Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
