new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
