i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
