Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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